


Dear Bilbo

by pikkupingviini



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Bilbo Dies, Epistolary, M/M, but Thorin continues writing him, thorin and bilbo are penpals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-14
Updated: 2015-03-14
Packaged: 2018-03-17 19:33:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3541391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pikkupingviini/pseuds/pikkupingviini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thorin and Bilbo are penpals. When Bilbo dies, Thorin writes him a letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Bilbo

**Author's Note:**

> i saw the prompt on tumblr: http://encouraging-writing-tips.tumblr.com/post/113542788329/writing-exercise
> 
> there are only two letters
> 
> It's not betaed, and English is not my native language, so there might be mistakes! I am sorry if there are :)

_28th of June, 2014_

Dear Bilbo, 

you haven’t written back to me in a week. I hope everything is well with you.

I am sorry if it’s something I said. I never meant my words to come out like that. You know I haven’t been myself lately, it’s all my fault. 

I am sorry. I know you hate when I say that, but I truly am. I couldn’t see clearly. I was sick, and as much as I’d like to say that I didn’t write those words, I can’t. I wrote them, with my own hands, even though I don’t like it. I am sorry, I’m sorry, i’m sorry.

It's just, I hate when people keep telling me I remind them of my father or grandfather. I guess it is true, I have to admit. I shouldn't have lashed out like that at you because of it though. 

Please write back to me and tell me you’re alright. Please.

-Thorin

P.S. I am sorry

 

_2nd of July, 2014_

Dear Bilbo, 

I am sorry. I heard about your passing today. It was on the news, even in here. How could I have missed them last month? You could have told me, I would have listened. I have been through similar things and I thought we were honest to each other. About everything. 

I can’t help but think that maybe my words affected your decision to take your life. I know this is in vain, but I need to write these words down. For my own sake, at least. 

I have been depressed too. I have had to take care of my family ever since my father passed. I have had to live with the consequences of my family’s sickness. I know what you’ve been through. Sometimes, all we need is someone who could listen. You were that person to me, and you never told me about your own struggles. I was selfish. I was an awful man. 

I hate you for doing this to me. I hate that I think I could have somehow saved you. I hate that you believed we couldn’t survive in a world like this. I hate that you were such a great listener, but never shared any of your pain. I hate that you didn't talk to me. 

As soon as I heard the news I thought of this old song, the lyrics fit perfectly now. I will write them down for you. It’s called "The Last Goodbye".

_I saw the light fade from the sky_  
On the wind I heard a sigh  
As the snowflakes cover  
My fallen brothers  
I will say this last goodbye 

_Night is now falling_  
So ends this day  
The road is now calling  
And I must away 

_Over hill and under tree_  
Through lands where never light has shone  
By silver streams that run down to the sea 

_Under cloud, beneath the stars_  
Over snow and winter's morn  
I turn at last to paths that lead home 

_And though where the road then takes me,_  
I cannot tell  
We came all this way  
But now comes the day  
To bid you farewell 

_Many places I have been_  
Many sorrows I have seen  
But I don't regret  
Nor will I forget  
All who took that road with me 

_Night is now falling_  
So ends this day  
The road is now calling  
And I must away 

_Over hill, and under tree_  
Through lands where never light has shone  
By silver streams that run down to the sea 

_To these memories I will hold_  
With your blessing I will go  
To turn at last to paths that lead home 

_And though where the road then takes me,_  
I cannot tell  
We came all this way  
But now comes the day  
To bid you farewell 

_I bid you all a very fond farewell_

 

I loved you. I don’t know whether you knew or not. But it doesn’t matter now, does it? 

“How could I love someone without even seeing them”, some might ask. 

“I loved his soul” I would answer. “I loved the way he wrote about the light travels thorough the leaves in the oak tree outside his window. I loved the way he described how the books he held to his chest smelled like. I loved the way he made me feel with just one letter. How excited I became after seeing another letter in my mailbox.” That’s what I would answer. 

I love you.

-Thorin


End file.
